What Makes Effective Coaching: Desire, Context, and Identity

“Should I get a coach?”

Sometimes people ask this question because they have come to a fork in their professional road. Other times, this question comes up for someone who has encountered an obstacle at work that they cannot seem to find a way over. And, in other instances, there is an interpersonal disconnect so strong that it might require intervention.

Admitting a great deal of bias in this area, I would offer that everyone would benefit from coaching. It is also true that the environment has to be right for coaching to be effective and for the experience to be positive for both the coach and the client.

What Makes Effective Coaching Isn’t Just the Coach

From a research-based perspective, Sandra Mashihi and Kenneth Nowack, in their book, Clueless: Coaching People Who Just Don’t Get It, define this ideal state like this:

“Taken together, these evidence-based coaching studies begin to build a case that successful behavioral change is indeed possible and improves on the earlier and weaker nonexperimental or quasi-experimental designs for evaluating coaching interventions. Initiating and sustaining behavioral change for anyone is challenging in the most ideal of situations.

The growing base of evidence-based research on coaching supports the idea that successful behavioral change depends on a complex interplay of intrapsychic, interpersonal, and organizational factors (‘who’ may benefit most, for ‘which’ kinds of coaching efforts, and under ‘what’ circumstances).”

In a nutshell, what they are saying is that there are a number of factors that can impact the efficacy of coaching. There are some common ones that I have seen in clients I have worked with and some for whom I have recommended that their current season was not the right time for them to receive coaching.

Factors that Impact Coaching

Desire

Whether or not the client wants a coach is, unsurprisingly, a critical factor in coaching effectiveness. I worked with a CEO a couple of years ago who said all of the right things about the coaching engagement. During our sessions, he would actively engage and demonstrate evidence that he had completed action items he committed to between our discussions.

As the 12-month engagement came to a close and potential renewal or next steps were discussed, he became a bit more transparent about his view of the coaching relationship. He admitted that he had accepted the coaching because he believed that his board demanded it and being newer to his role, he did not feel like he had earned the right to challenge such a strong recommendation. He shared that he saw the value of coaching for others but believed that he was making the right decisions and that he did not need to be coached.

Lack of Problems

Many years ago, I worked with a brilliant marketer who was widely believed to be a rising star in a global company. He was energetic about being identified as a high performer deserving of individual executive coaching.

He came to our sessions with that same enthusiasm and regularly expressed appreciation for this opportunity and my time. The problem was that he did not have any problems. I am confident that, if we dug deep enough, we could have found something to work on. But in his mind, he was working in a great environment and for a great boss. He had strong interpersonal relationships and a career path that suited him. He was being challenged every day and also rising to those challenges.

A six-month engagement fizzled after a little over four months because we simply could not find something to wrestle with. Sometimes we have to admit that things are going well, and we are not in a season where coaching is the most effective use of our time.

Identity

Coaching can be a vulnerable place for clients. They often have to admit to past failures or confess current areas where they lack the skills or competence to succeed. This work is the trickiest when it relates to their self-image.

I work with a lot of clients on their personality profiles and their motivations for the things they do and prioritize. With some clients, we come to a dreaded place in a coaching environment that also proves toxic in teams.

The death knell to progress goes something like, “Well, this is just who I am, and others will have to adjust.”

A person expressing this sentiment has accepted that others might not work well with this aspect of their personality, but the responsibility to change or adjust falls on others. This often comes from a concern that they want to be authentic and true to themselves. Put another way, they do not want to risk appearing to be “phony.”

I collaborate with clients to find ways to adjust their behaviors while staying true to who they are. The path to that is frequently a focus on what they really want the outcome of the work or the relationship to be. If we use their desired outcome as the north star for our conversation, we might be able to identify a couple of things that they can tweak about how they present themselves that improve the situation. In other instances, which is not enough to convince them that a change is needed. Any coaching interaction thereafter is certainly compromised.

Coaching Starts With Willingness

If you have the opportunity to engage a coach, you might reflect on your season of life and your temperament for that relationship.

Do you want to be coached? Can you identify areas in which you would like to improve or would value a safe space to explore new ideas? If change is needed, are you willing to take steps toward that change?

Ultimately, no matter how skilled or experienced the coach is, the effectiveness of coaching starts with the client’s willingness to be coached.